What to do after the first date
Oct 28, 2019
May 02, 2018
Every year I dread the advent of Valentine’s Day. It’s second only to New Years Eve in terms of societal pressure. Expectations run high and you must be seen to have a “good” time or a date. Over the years I have experimented with different survival methods.I have tried spending Valentine’s Day single, under a forest canopy, alone save for the company of badgers and moss. I have also crawled through Valentines day, attached by the hip to my significant other, eating over priced meals in packed restaurants.
No matter my relationship status, one thing’s for sure. I have grown to hate the 14th of February. And it is a shame, because I believe it has a lot to offer society. Valentine’s Day is a tricky one for me as a currently single, 30 something. Online-dating has not made it any better. You know what would improve my experience of 14th of February?
Anti Valentines day, pro Valentines Month.
Come on people! It’s love! It’s so important, The Beatles thought it was the only thing we needed! Jesus, Muhammad and those feisty Atheists are all in agreement that love is a vital component to a happy and peaceful world.
It’s one of the most positive and intoxicating of human emotions. Cramming all that appreciation into one day makes it hellish. Online-dating sites take on a feeding frenzy vibe. Marketers and business men fall over themselves to get you to buy their services. The whole thing stinks of quick money, made fast.
If we were to celebrate the concept of love for an entire month, restaurants would be less packed, there would be less focused attention on cramming as many sales in as quickly as possible and there would be reduced stress on couples to mark the occasion. Singles would not have to put up with the maelstrom of social signals telling us being alone is bad. Online Dating sites would have less of a glut of new users, destined to never return the following week.
All in all, It is my opinion that things would be far more relaxed if we spread out the celebration, rather than cramming it into a savage marketing orgasm which is over as quickly as it begun.
De-Sexualize Valentine’s Day
Make it about Love as a general concept, not as a purely romantic one. The celebration should focus more on the 60’s Hippy concept of free love, and I’m not talking about STD proliferation parties of sex and debauchery, I’m more pushing for the idea of a universal love, of forgiveness and of positivity and appreciation for your fellow humans. Not just thrusting genitalia, chocolates and gaudy cards.
Love should be something you do every day
If your significant other only gets to go for dinner once a year or you only make them feel special 1 out of every 365 days, well, that’s grim and you should feel bad about yourself. But it’s ok; there is a solution, absolution via commercial expunction. Buy Extra chocolates and wine to make up for it.
St Valentine was also the Patron St. of Plague and Epilepsy
On February 14th, had things gone a different way, we could very well swop our love hearts for Plague Rats, our romantic meals for a thrash on the floor in front of some intensely flashing lights. This celebration is a relatively new phenomenon, gaining roots in the 18th century as a way to explain the urges of mating birds in mid February. They blamed Valentines amorous influences.
If your feeling particularly venerable, why not go pay the auld codger a visit in person, you see in 1835 an Irish Carmelite by the name of John Spratt was visiting Rome. He delivered a sermon so great, that they gave him a few pieces of withered corpse. Not just any corpse however, they were the remains of St. Valentinus himself.
Valentines Day Idea
If you fancy a really nontraditional Valentines outing, tell your date you know where there's a dead body and you want to show it to them. Then bring them to the Carmelite Church on Whitefriar Street. If they stick around, well, you know they'll be with you through thick and thin, no matter what life throws at you.
This new fangled celebration is still evolving and we each have our own role to play in how it develops. Play your part and make it a day worthy of celebration, whether you are single, married or divorced.
If my plea’s for change fall on deaf ears, well, that’s your choice and I respect that. You might instead be interested in our large, comprehensive collection of dating site reviews. We also have lots more articles on other sensitive topics, like coping with being single and choosing the right profile picture.
However you decide to spend St. Valentine ’s Day, do it with those you love.